Thursday, April 23, 2015

Jael | March - December 2014

Jael: Glimpses of Life from 2014

March 3:
Me: So Jael is going to be an excellent cook when she grows up. She invented a recipe for me to make today - strawberry chocolate chip cookies!
Jael: Yes, Daddy, and when I am big, I am going to be a Taco Bell food maker worker!
Jeff: ?!?!?!

March 11: Jael has decided she can pray by herself before bed. This is sweet and everything, except she realized she could capitalize on this ability and extend bedtime. So we're hearing prayers like this: "Dear Jesus, thank you for Mommy and Daddy and Judah and Grandpa and Grandma and Craigon and Kendall-at-college and Nenna and Brandon and my dolly and my baby and my kitty and Judah's kitty and all our toys and Judah's dump truck Scoop and Judah's baby and Judah's dolly and the barn kitties and..." Yeah. Ad infinitum. :P

March 14: Overheard in the car from Jael today: "Now Judah, you see, the sperm comes from the daddy and the egg comes from the mommy. And then the mommy grows the baby in her tummy!" I really didn't think she was absorbing that much from her preschool health book yet, lol.
March 18: Well, a 104 temp from Judah pretty much nixed my plans for the day. Poor little guy is finally sleeping now, while Jael and I work on science and social studies. (She is currently adamantly correcting me: "It's not a cactus, Mommy, it's a cacto-pus!").
April 6: I said something to Jael about our plans for Monday and she immediately wanted to watch her "movie about Monday". She absolutely insisted that her favorite movie was about a little girl named Monday. I was totally lost until after much discussion, I realized she was talking about Fireman Sam and "Mandy". Gotta love the British accent. ;P
April 20:
Jael: "Judah, when you are growed up, you could be a hammer worker man! Or a fire man! Or a cooking food man! Or a picking flowers man. Or even you could pretend to be a grown-up baby!" [giggling hysterically]
Me: "I don't think anyone has a job like that, Jael."
Jeff, dryly: "'d be surprised."

May 7:
Jael, watching Craigon unload the parts for our new swing set: "When will he be done? When can we play on it?!"
Me: "It's pretty big, he's going to work on it all day, but it might not be done until tomorrow."
Jael: "Wow! Just like the Israelites! He has to work hard all day and not stop, like they were in Egypt!"

May 11: Jael explained to Jeff quite seriously that because it is Mother's Day, he was required to make breakfast for me and put it on a tray and bring it to me in bed. Which means I got sleep in and he made pancakes! 
May 14: Lately, Jael has been constantly narrating stories and ad-libbing songs. She made up a song to sing to Judah before bed, which she calls "Goodnight, Judah-boy." ("Goodniiiiiiiiight Judah-boy....when the stars come out....and they're bright...and we reeeeeeead our stories!! And Mommy tucks us into beeeeeeeeed.") The other night Judah woke up wailing at 1am and when I went to ask him what was wrong, he gulped and thought for a minute and said, "Jael forgot to sing me 'Judah-boy' fore bed tonight!"
May 16:
Jael: "Mommy, why don't you let go and let the car drive itself? Then you can get me chips."
Me: "No, Jael, I have to steer the car or it will crash."
Jael: "And then it will drive again?"
Me: "No! Then it will be all smashed up and not drive!"
Jael: "Oh. I think Daddy would be very sad. And probably mad. You should drive it."

May 23: Jael's storybook last night asked what she wanted to do when she was grown-up. She wanted to "get married and wear a marrying dress like Mommy" and invited Judah to marry her. He refused with some agitation and informed her, "I no mawwy you! When I am gwown-up, I will climb to the WEALLY TOP of the climbing wall!"

June 3: So our barn cats all have names now, at the least the grown-up ones. They are as follows: the Mother, Rain, Chester the Rooster, and Roly-Poly. I guess it's a good thing we didn't have Jael help name her brother. Now we just have to decide which kittens to keep! (Our neighbors just claimed two, so that's two less going to the Humane Society, yay)
June 8: We have progressed from "sit on the floor and keep Mama company in the bathroom" to "pass secret notes under the door to Mama in the bathroom". Progress, right? ;)

June 16:
Me: *brushing Jael's teeth*
Jael: "Owww! Owwwww! OWWW! Stop hurting me!!!!!!!!!!"
Me: "Jael, don't exaggerate. If you keep doing this, no one will know when you really are hurt."
Jael, without missing a beat: "Jesus will!"
Sometimes I have no words. ;)

June 18:
I could have some real submissions for that "reasons my toddler is crying" blog. :P Today Jael cried because she is going to "miss my dolly when I'm a grown-up". And Judah cried because it was raining. Not because he wanted sunshine, but because it wasn't snowing.

June 20: Jael made a bed on the floor in our room because she is "sick". And she is now currently laying there talking to her stomach. "What did you say, tummy? You want the blanket off? OK. I will give you fresh air. What did you say? Did you say juice? Mommy, my tummy made a 'mmmmm-mmm-mmmm" sound. That means I need juice because I am sick." Riiiiiiiight.

August 1: My children have a new favorite past time: running out to the barn to chase away the flocks of turkey coming to eat up all the cats' food. tongue emoticon What I don't understand is why the cats don't do the chasing themselves!

August 12:
Judah, at Costco: "I want that chocolate thing, Mama!"
Me: "Sorry, buddy, that's too sugary. We don't need that."
Jael, disapprovingly: "Yeah, Judah, that is very bad. It would be like eating cake all day."
Judah: "Ummmm. I see some healfy cwackers....we can get those?"
Judah, after more shopping: "We don't get that, Mama. It have daiwy in it.....we don't get those yucky things, Mama, those are yucky eggs.....I see meat, Mama! We don't eat that stuff!"
I swear I don't lecture them about food all the time or tell him something is yucky. wink emoticon He is so black and white about everything, lol.

August 26:
Jael, instructing Judah on how to play make-believe correctly: "Now, Judah, you must not do any mean things to me. Because I'm going to be your really nice wife. And you can be the good king."
Judah: "OK, I do that. I must FIGHT the bad king!!!!!!!"

September 17: 6:30AM or not, my kids are running around on the lawn screaming and yelling at turkeys. Because our property must be defended from intrusion! (I still can't stop laughing at the bewildered turkey running in every direction. Or the slow ones with Judah charging a few feet behind them all the way to the fence.)

September 29: Jael: *takes Judah's toy*
Jael: "That's not my name! That's YOUR name!"

October 2:
Jael, as we drive home: "Judah, my dolly wants to marry your baby."
Judah: "No! I don't want my baby to mawwy your dolly!"
Jael, with a dramatic sigh: "I know, I don't either. What should we do? Do you have a plan?"
Judah: "I don't know."
Jael: "Well. I will tell my dolly that she may NOT marry your baby. But what if she says she has to? Then I will give her nine time-outs. That will be our plan. And you can come to my room and we will talk to the dollies about this."
I have no idea where this stuff comes from.

October 24:
Jael: "Ginny [cat] ate part of a mouse yesterday, Judah."
Judah: "Yuck. People don't eat mouses!"
Jael, solemnly: "No...but some people eat turkeys."
Judah: "Ewwww! That's gwoss! Bears should eat turkeys!"
(The only turkeys they have seen are the wild ones running around our backyard. wink emoticon )

November 3: Jeff's doctoral regalia came in the mail for his graduation next month. I am ecstatic that he's almost done. Jael and Judah are highly amused. ("Your arms look big and fat!" "Why do you have to wear that funny hat?")

December 2: One of our cats kept howling for food the other day and I told her, "Stop acting like you are dying when you have a bowl full of cat food!" Ever since then, if Jael hears the cats meowing, she seriously informs them, "You are ok. You are not going to be dead. I gave you food. You are not dying." I forget how literal my children are. :P

December 4: I look outside and see a light sprinkling of snow. Jael looks out and sees all the magic of a winter wonderland and holiday excitement. And the potential for hot chocolate at breakfast. wink emoticon Before I had breakfast on the table, she had put on all her snow gear and went out to collect a cup of snow so she could bring it inside to "watch it melt!"

December 5: Jael was looking at a new history picture book from the thrift store and brought it to me in horror, asking what "the bad guys were doing to the poor man". I was worried I had accidentally traumatized her with some awful details of the Medieval Inquisition or something, but no, it was just about mummies. She was thoroughly relieved to find out that the "poor man" was dead before they yanked his brains out. :P

December 8:
Jael: I want to see Mary in heaven. Because she is beautiful [romantic sigh] and she is my favorite.
Judah: How do you go to heaven, Jael?
Jael: Well. Mostly after you die.
Judah, looking concerned: But I weally don't want to die.
Jael: Don't worry, Judah! You don't die until you are really really old. Like......29, I think.

December 30: Jael read her very first picture book with me today! ‪#‎kindergarten‬ ‪#‎growinguptoofast‬

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